Ambulance LTD - Sugar Pill
Archive for October, 2008
30
Oct
Listen up.
One of the most recognizable faces in pop culture illustration is that of Alfred E. Neuman. His gap toothed grin has graced the covers and pages of Mad Magazine since 1954. Over the years, Mad has dished out many cartoons with and without Alfred. ‘Tis the season, and Mad Magazine has hopped aboard the political bandwagon.
You can always count on Mad for a zinger. For your viewing pleasure- the 08 election posters. No party is safe. (take time to click and read the fine print for chuckles)
Everyone loves a movie parody:
My personal favorite:
Here’s a little throwback to the Dubya administration:
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps
28
Oct
need help?
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One of the most endearing moments in film is in The Fifth Element when LeeLoo crash lands in the cab of Korben Dallas and says, “Please help!” Cute factor + 100.
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I was playing around with my Stumble account today and ran across an amusing little thing.
It is a site that offers minimalistic cut and headache remedies as well as random bits of helpful information. Are you bored? Drunk? Topless? Fear not, help is here.
27
Oct
The Strangers- unscary.
In the spirit of Halloween and after much persuasion from a specific source, I not only watched, but purchased the movie The Strangers this weekend. A few people had made mention of it being a good terror film and felt I would likely love it.
I waited to tuck the kiddos to bed Sunday night before settling down on the sofa. I was eager to be scared out of my wits. The movie began with FBI statistics on violent crime and a disclaimer that the story was based on actual events. Ooh goodie! True life horror, right? Nope.
It was inspired by actual events, alright, (we will get to those details in a moment) but any allusion to horror was an exaggeration. There was not one moment where I found myself scared, paranoid, or nervous. It was like a middle school project slasher film- only for the slasher part to come at the very tail end with minimal gore. Parts of it were creepy, yes. I will give credit to that.
The 3 ’strangers’ were definitely creepy. Two girls in doll masks and one man who wore a brown sack over his head with the face cut out. Very Scarecrow from Batman Begins. He would quietly present himself in the background of a given scene unbeknownst to the person in the room. All 3 Strangers would fade in and out of the picture at random moments. Over and over we went. It did not take long before what little creeps they stirred within me turned into monotony.
Here is he is. The first appearance of Mr. Scarecrow Copycat in the background which gave me a little cold chill. It was at this point I still had hope for a great scare.
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Stranger girl #1. I wonder if she’s gonna do something or just stand there? Oh-just stand there for now. Ok.
Hope fades.
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Stranger girl #2 following an injured Liv Tyler. Surely she’ll take advantage of the situation and at least inflict a wound or two.
No, of course not. After a moment she disappears. I’m ready for bed.
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The movie proceeds in this same manner for entirely too long. The first bit of gory action comes when Liv’s boyfriend (actor Scott Speedman, hubba hubba) accidentally blows the face off of his buddy with a shotgun. Good job there, buck-o.
After the movie ended and I came to grips with the fact that I had just wasted a perfectly good evening, I became curious as to the supposed true life events that inspired the movie. Sure, this made for a boring film but had it happened to me in real life I would have been scared to death!
I did a little online research (thank you Wiki) and found that the background story was just as lame as the movie!! When writer Brian Bertino was a child, a stranger came to his front door asking for someone who was not there. He had later found out that empty houses in his neighborhood had been broken into the same night. Thus inspiring the poor excuse for terror that he so graciously contributed to the world of cinema in May of 2008.
One thing that I did enjoy was the soundtrack. An old record player provided the background music from a few great singer-songwriters as well as Merle Haggard. TomandAndy did an excellent job on the film score. The soundtrack is just under $20 at Amazon.
In my opinion, this would have been a much better pre-teen Goosebumps book. It isn’t the most horrible and apalling thing I’ve ever seen. Even THAT would’ve been more exciting than this. I do not recommend watching it unless you are really really really really really really bored. Even then, it would be a decision you are likely to regret.
24
Oct
Oreos + Milk = Yum.
Ever have an Oreo crumble and fall apart when you dip it in milk? Or notice how there’s always that completely dry spot left where your fingers were holding on? Yes? Well this is happening because you are doing it all wrong, buddy.
There are many wrong ways to eat Oreo cookies with milk and only ONE right way. Guess what- I know the right way.
Pay attention: I will only share the secret ritual with you this one time.
Step One: The necessary items needed.
1-Pkg of Oreo Cookies (Double Stuffed, duh)
2- Glass of milk
3- Fork
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Step Two:
Carefully insert the fork into the cream filling.
Note- Be sure not to push your fork too far in or the cookie will separate in the milk.
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Step Three:
Submerge the fork holding the cookie into the milk.
Let it sit. Bubbles will begin to rise to the surface of the milk.
Wait for it… wait for it…
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Step 4:
Once you begin to see the bubbling slow down then stop pull out your fork.
The cookie is now completely saturated with milk and in tact. Your fingers are clean and dry.
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Now, isn’t that just about the most awesome thing that I’ve told you all day? I think so.
We find ourselves in economically depressing times and as a result are somewhat forced into a more thrifty lifestyle. I, for one, think this is one of the good things to come out of the Economic Holocaust. Being a self proclaimed craft whore and Goodwill refurb junkie, I am always on the search for ways to reuse or revamp things in day to day life.
My most recent find is the new line of Febreeze Candles.
They smell oh so good (my favorites are ‘Linen & Sky’ and ‘Autumn Spice & Crisp’) and average around $7.00 at most stores. I have found that these candles are the best at eliminating any random household odors and making my place smell quite delicious. The best thing about them, though, is the glass dish that they come in.
Once the candle itself has been consumed, the container can be cleaned out and reused as a small whiskey or drinking glass. Pretty neat, eh? They are actually a great size and are of seemingly better (thicker) quality than the small glasses I had not too long ago purchased at Ikea.
You can ease the guilt of spending extra cash on candles knowing that they are multi-purpose. I am even thinking of using them in homemade Christmas gifts this year. Remember, children of the revolution, being thrifty is not being cheap.
16
Oct
Text Transcript
I am delighted that people were so amused by our family antics surrounding the teen tramp busted by my cousin’s friend at a baseball game. *see They Grow Up So Fast blog.
For those unable to read the text conversation, I give you:
The Text Transcript
There were a few messages prior to what you see in the photos:
re: can’t have sex cuz it’s ’special time’
Then on screen:
Justin (below): oh god ur amazing! so I can just put it in ur butt then?
Hoochie (top): if u like it that way and it doesn’t hurt me. But don’t u want me to enjoy it too?
Justin: dammit, can’t a nigga get his ballz sucked in peace?
Hoochie: no, cuz you’re white first of all
There were other texts recorded that were equally as shocking. I just might have to sweet talk my cuz for more hoochie hilarity. Her Daddy (sitting beside her) must be so proud!
15
Oct
They grow up so fast.
I was talking with my cousin, Shannon, one day and he started telling me about a recent trip to an Atlanta Braves game. He had gone with a buddy who had just purchased a nice digital camera with what was described to me as being a “ridiculous” telephoto lense. At the game they spotted a little airhead about 10 rows up and his friend started to ponder:
- What is she texting so much?
- Just how good is the lense on my new camera?
It turns out that the lense is not only impressive, but good enough to actually read her text messages. And, wow! The conversation she was having couldn’t have been scripted any better. On a later date Shannon took the photos and turned them into demotivator posters.
Demotivators, if you are unfamiliar, are a play on the highly annoying and perpetually optimistic motivational posters you find in most office and corporate environments. They are intended to offer the exact opposite of motivation focusing on humor and sarcasm at the expense of a subject. A few websites, such as Despair, Inc. which help people create and caption their own posters.
The posters that my cousin created are nothing short of clever. He didn’t stop with just one:
Slightly disturbing and possibly a side of guilt with your chuckle. But that’s the point!
My main question here is- Do you think that’s her father sitting to the right? Likely. Way to be attentive, Dad.
15
Oct
Clock Tower
Years ago, before the terror of Silent Hill, Dead Space or Doom there was Clock Tower. This is one of my favorite video game series of all time. I venture to say that it is the creepiest game for me, ever. Running and hiding from that lunatic Scissorman made me a nervous wreck many an evening! I remember hiding out in closets and wardrobes, a firm grip on the controller, ready to run if he were to discover me. Ohh the sound of those blades! Every step he took they would open and close. A constant reminder of the death that awaited.
Not only was the fear factor impressive, but game play itself. This was not a difficult video game. There were puzzles but strategy was not a necessity. In fact, strategy was almost obsolete as the game was different every time you played it. There were multiple endings and your actions (or lack there of) affected the storyline.
I would play at night and turn every light off. Create my own miserable fear so that every time he would discover my hiding place, lunging at me with those scissors, I’d scream. It was fantastic!!! It was the anticipation that would kill me. The sounds and images while having to watch your character sit still behind a curtain while he stalked past. I would hold my breath at times as if it could help.
There have been rumors of a script being written. Never much detail and only enough to tease and keep my curiosity peaked. That is, until now. Milla Jovovich has signed on to play the character of Alyssa in the movie version of Clock Tower 2 which was originally released to the Playstation in 1998. She will be joined by Britney Snow with shooting scheduled to begin next month! Her character will be yet another super hot yet mentally complicated chick who will kick ass to overcome her past. These video game adaptations seem to be working for Jovovich and I, for one, am eager to see her work in bringing Clock Tower to life!
